The Deep Agents of the Rocky Mountains

Now for some fun -- Dig it

Like a rolling stone
A like a rolling stone
Like the FBI and the CIA
And the BBC--BB King
And Doris Day
Matt Busby
Dig it, dig it, dig it
Dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it
( -- The Beatles)

Deep inside the Rockes, there's a huge cave, an underground complex, that the very elite among the spooks in the belly of NSA and the CIA and the Pentagon and NASA have succeeded in keeping hidden from the media, the public, and from Congress. Whether or not the top dog in the White House has ever been trusted with this superclandestine undertaking is for them to know and for us to find out. The heaviest of superintelligent think-tanks are located here, where they brainstorm about smart weapons, invisible bombs, aircrafts and spacecrafts, code-cracking, wiretapping, wireless-tapping, espionage, sabotage, coups, mind control (especially over political leaders, so the president probably doesn't know after all, or at least he has plausible deniability) -- and last but not least, telepathy, remote viewing, and thought reading. Yes indeed, they have a special thought police unit with trained monitors and investigators. They are the Deep Agents (DA's).

Don't ask me how I found out, just don't ask. And don't speculate about how I managed to eavesdrop on the following conversation.

DA Spooner: Do you have something there, Chuck?
DA Gunther: Yes indeed, this is positively a seditious, subversive, criminal, insurgent underground thought pattern.
DA Spooner: Infectious?
DA Gunther: I'm afraid so. If this is allowed to spread, we could have a massive multinational rebellion on our hands.
DA Spooner: Civil disobedience, anti-militarism, peaceniks, anarchism, pot smoking?
DA Gunther: All of it and much more. Make love not war, that kind of crap.
DA Spooner: Sounds like the run of the mill sort of thing. There's plenty of that out there.
DA Gunther: Yes, but this is an idea that might be politically effective. It's also extremely addictive because it has all kinds of New Age spirituality in it -- spiritual science. That's also out there, but this combination of political and spiritual ideas with hidden, occult calls to action or anti-action is an explosive that needs defusing.
DA Spooner: Hmmm... Has it been disseminated yet?
DA Gunther: I just checked with the NSA, and so far there's not a single email, phone call, press column, blog, text message or anything else. But those guys are on to our state-of-the-art tech and spyware, so they're doing telepathy.
DA Spooner: I see, -- but as a highly trained telepathist yourself, you can read that.
DA Gunther: With effort, yes, but we're working on telepathic software for our satellites, for better accuracy.
DA Spooner: Can we take this target out conventionally?
DA Gunther: Naah, it's nothing islamic there, so I don't think we can do that.
DA Spooner: What about invisible superstealth?
DA Gunther: Not perfected yet. We have invisibility, but nobody is sufficiently trained yet to guide it accurately by thought power alone. We don't have accuracy.
DA Spooner: You mean we could hit a co-worker or a neighbor?
DA Gunther: Or a traffic cop, anybody
DA Spooner: About the infection, the mental virus...
DA Gunther: Huh...
DA Spooner: A possible pandemic? What about vaccines, drugs?
DA Gunther: If it should come to that, we have our plants in the WHO, they can make a case but it will be expensive.
DA Spooner: Why is this so bad?
DA Gunther: Polytheism.
DA Spooner: Oh my, the worst of heresies. The entire cosmos packed with anarchist gods, no metaphysical almighty commander-in-chief. We can't allow this to spread, it would be horrible.
DA Gunther: Yes, the mental germ may be on its way from Europe into China, and if the Chinese government falls....
DA Spooner: There goes our economy -- for good this time. China is our entire bankroll. Tibetans are dangerous too, very dangerous.
DA Gunther: Our Peking unit says they're under control, more or less.
DA Spooner: They're not under control. We can't afford this mental anarchist spiritual virus on top of that, it has to be stopped. Take it out conventionally if you have to.
DA Gunther: Not possible. We would have to use visible craft and weapon and disguise it as a UFO, but Europeans are less responsive to propaganda about ET's. It only works in America.
DA Spooner: And the invisible telepathy-controlled micro-missile tech?
DA Gunther: We need at least another six months on that.
DA Spooner: A professional assassin?
DA Gunther: We could fly one in from Russia tomorrow and have him in Canada within hours after the hit, but local law enforcement is savvy, not about homicide in general but about espionage and foreign black ops.
DA Spooner: Then get a regular street thug to do it.
DA Gunther: Got CIA workin' on that, but if our target's a thug as well, there may be complications.
DA Spooner: Have we heard from Peking today?
DA Gunther: I dunno, but they sure have the right idea.
DA Spooner: Yep, a one party state with a free market, media control and everything. No greens squealing about pollution and shit like that. No weird spirituality running loose. They just wack those goons. Just wack'em.
DA Gunther: The only thing we don't have here is the media control bit. We have some control, but it's insufficient.
DA Spooner: Well, we don't have a one party government yet.
DA Gunther: Of course we do: The Demopublican Party.
DA Spooner: There's still some split.
DA Gunther: That's only for the theater, don't worry.
DA Spooner: So you don't know if anyone has heard from Peking today?
DA Gunther: Naah, but I'll ask about it at dinner. I'm having Peking duck, wanna join me?
DA Spooner: Yea, I'll order mine baked in a sitting position. I love sitting ducks!
DA Gunther: Like Sitting Bull.
DA Spooner (laughing): Yeah, send all them sitting ducks and bulls on a Wild West show with Buffalo Bill.
DA Gunther (guffawing hysterically): Quack quack!
DA Spooner: You know what they say, if it walks like a duck, smells like a duck, talks like a duck....
DA Gunther: Then it's a heretic.
DA Spooner: Exactly. An insurgent.
DA Gunther: Subversive.
DA Spooner: Rebel.
DA Gunther: Enemy combatant.
DA Spooner: Criminal thinker.
DA Gunther: We're gonna get those thoughts, even if they don't write them down or speak them.
DA Spooner: I know we will.
DA Gunther: We've got the tech, they don't have a chance.

After this conversation, the Deep Agents in the top secret facility inside the Rockies, strolled into their dining area and asked their Chinese cook to cook up a couple of sitting Peking ducks.